Has become just another one of my failures.
It screams of failure to inform, to entertain, to inspire or to in any way bring anything positive whatsoever to the life of a single other person in this world.
More than that, it screams of failure to help or improve myself in any way.
I think I’d get about as much satisfaction from saying the things I say here, to a brick wall. At least if I told my thoughts to inanimate objects (as long as nobody else was around to see me chatting with concrete, of course) I wouldn’t be embarrassing myself or wasting anybody’s time.
If you think it’s worth saving me… go and tell a brick wall all about it or something.
This is what I plan to do for the rest of the day;
In particular I plan to nail the the slightly crazy sections.
(Do me a favour and actually listen to that, ^ yeah? That guy is my favourite composer right now, because he writes piano music that is pretty and soulful and within the immediate scope of my capabilities).
~xx~
September 12th, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Are you sure you’re not healing from blogging? Healing doesn’t mean posting and feeling so much better. Sometimes healing means feeling like shit. Working through it and then maybe at some point feeling better. Healing from mental illness isn’t like getting a cut and everyday the cut gets a bit better than goes away and you never think about it again. Mental illness is different. It’s a long, hard climb up a rocky hill while wearing sandals.
September 12th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
You make a good point, I’m sure, but… at no point did I (or anyone else) say I had any kind of mental illness.
September 12th, 2012 at 4:12 pm
Sorry about that.
September 12th, 2012 at 5:52 pm
S’alright, I guess I probably do give that impression often enough. :/
September 12th, 2012 at 11:51 pm
Nope. It’s just that most of the people I follow are dealing with some type of mental illness.
September 12th, 2012 at 11:56 pm
Ditto. It’s a common theme in blogging, with good reason. :)
September 12th, 2012 at 2:27 pm
I don’t talk to brick walls, it makes me look “crazy”. I think you should only blog if you want to! You shouldn’t rank your blog on something like comments or likes (which the internet is all about now) but on whether or not you’re having a good time doing it!
September 14th, 2012 at 5:27 am
In “Thinking About Memoir” by Abigail Thomas, she says to dig deep or don’t bother, and to not self-edit as much. You’re doing a fabulous job my dear, by simply being honest, real. It’s refreshing. Keep at it. And as Orson Scott Card says, “just write”. “You can write it a thousand different ways and a hundred ways would be right”. And keep reaching out to others too. You will find that they agree with me in how special you truly are. Don’t give up! You’re one of the few blogs I truly enjoy stopping by and chatting to :D
Pink.
September 16th, 2012 at 1:23 pm
Thankyou, once again, for your support :)
I think you’re right, I was just having a down day. I’m not really going anywhere ;)
x
September 19th, 2012 at 5:36 am
Phew! I was gonna write paragraphs of your awesomeness, but good to know you realize this already! Hoorayy!! Besides, Orson Scott Card says to “just write”. As in, keep writing. As in, don’t like, you know. worry too much about writing. Just write… we waits… :D
Pink.
September 16th, 2012 at 12:19 am
I listened to that video …it was beautiful. When I hit play I was not sure what I would hear because I did not recognize the name on the video. But as it played … I found myself just sitting and listening …thank you.
As for your blog being a failure….hmm. I would say keep it going if it makes your feel something…write for yourself. If it gets to be a chore, or if it seems like it makes you frustrated … then stop and try something else.
It’s not a failure to try something … even if you find you don’t like it or are not good at it or just have no feeling about it. If you decide its not for you, then you will have learnt that yes?
October 1st, 2012 at 11:12 pm
I love the music and the post…keep plugging away. You have some of us coming back…
October 3rd, 2012 at 3:22 pm
[...] @ Stepyness with her post: I Think This Blog Thing. (…has just become another one of my failures.”) Raw emotion. And you gotta love [...]
October 4th, 2012 at 5:14 pm
I really loved that video – thank you for sharing! :)