átján

 

A Problem That You Have Had. 

First of all, let it be known that I do not like this one.

But since I am awake and have the time to write something, I’ll rise to the challenge… sort of.

~

Size 8 jeans are a massive struggle for me to get into.

Size 10 jeans are usually too big, by a margin considerable enough for it to be impossible for me to ignore and get over their too-big-ness.

Belts, even the ‘small’ ones, do not  fit me properly; There’s always too much left over, which just looks stupid.

I could eat The World and not put on more than maybe a couple of pounds.

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My hair grows all wrong, so that there does not exist a style which it will do properly – or a way for it to look remotely attractive. Even when I was little, it wouldn’t do plaits or pigtails or even a simple ponytail properly. I think this is why I decided at some point not to even bother trying to be a proper girl.

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I had a tendency, through school, to develop undying crushes on guys whom I not only would pretty much never speak to, but whom none of my friends could even vaguely understand my obsessions with.  Silent, Secret Agony.

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I have no boobies. I would really prefer to have some of those. (I’m not stupid enough to even contemplate getting fake ones, don’t worry). I feel like a lot of years of my life would have been a lot less silently secretly agonizing if I’d just grown a pair of those at some point. (This fact probably played into at least one of the above, too).

.

My list of first world problems probably goes on and on, but I am tired and my brain isn’t working properly.

So, um.

Boobies:

 

 

~xx~

 

 

I’m So Vain…

…I prob’ly think this song is about me.

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I bought an outfit today, for tomorrow’s night out.

(For which, by the way, I utterly cannot wait).

Somehow, this and other aspects of today have made me immensely happy.

: )

Other aspects being;

Spending some time with my lovely housemate, who allowed me to drag her around every shop at monks cross (twice) and helped me choose clothes, and made me buy suspender tights (about which, by the way, I am still not convinced),

Running 5km,

Signing myself up to write an article for a Uni Newspaper,

Reading a whole (admittedly short) book to help with my dissertation, and (most of all)

SUN.

All in all I feel it has been a successful day.

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I don’t care what you think. (Unless, of course, you’d like to vote yes or no to the hooker tights).

I think I’ll stop there, before I have a confidence crisis and delete this whole thing.

I think I’m beginning to like Mondays.

~xx~

Being Someone Else

The next time I go out, I am going to wear fake tan.

And fake eyelashes. Massive ones.

Maybe some hair extensions, Bright Red Lipstick.

The tightest, shortest Pink dress I can find.

(Possibly one of those ones with some bits cut out here and there…)

Fake nails, REALLY high heels.

Big Earrings, big jewellery everywhere, metallic eye makeup.

…

And I will laugh the way other girls laugh, at only the things they would laugh at.

And I will say the kinds of things other girls would say, and pretend to be into all the stuff the other girls are into.

Only talk to the kinds of people the other girls would talk to.

Go to the places they’d go to, and look like I’m enjoying being there.

Just to see what it’s like to not be me, for a little while, because the real me never really seems to do so well socially.

(I’m not even sure who the real me is).

Maybe I might even like being covered in fake. Perhaps I’ll realise what I’ve been doing wrong all this time, and never look back.

…

Or,

Perhaps I’m lying my [sexy little] arse off here and I will never, ever ever do these things because if the Real Me isn’t good enough for People then those People aren’t good enough for the Real Me.

Perhaps I am a total freak, but then so is everyone, really. Inevitably some people will be my kind of freak, and others won’t. And that’s cool, y’know?

: )

In other smiles,

I watched my younger brother make a team of skinny midgets and a team of chunky giants (all with highly questionable names) and pit them against each other on FIFA 12, earlier. I haven’t laughed so much in a very long time. :’)

It’s the little things, y’know?

I feel this post is too dull without a photo, so here is my Floyd back when he was young and pretty:

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Happy what’s-left-of-Wednesday, and much love to all the (my kind of) freaks ;)

~xx~