Y’know those obscure times,

When you just really, really need want to talk to someone – anyone?

Mainly because you just want to know that there’s someone out there who will listen, even though when it comes to it you’ll barely ever even begin to tell them anything at all, and they won’t really want to know anyway?

Well, at those times,

Forget It.

Roll Over.

Go To Sleep.

Like normal people do. 

Something was mentioned in my lecture today about fake smiles. To illustrate; Air Hostesses.

‘Techniques of interpersonal exchange’.

Surface acting –

That fake smile I do when I say, ‘Hello there, How can I help? …Is there anything else I can get for you today? Ok, thankyou very much. Bye’.

Deep acting –

That fake smile I do when I’ve gone so far as to convince myself that I’m actually feeling the smile I’m faking, and for both of us it’s like I’m really genuinely smiling or something.

Reminds me of when my singing teacher used to tell me to breathe from my diaphragm. ‘Breathe from lower down, breathe from somewhere deeper’. I never really did know if I was doing it right. I worked up a pretty good singing voice at one point, though. Maybe I really did master breathing deeper, for a while. I think maybe I once mastered faking smiles from deeper, too.

Nowadays, I can’t really sing except quietly, for nobody but myself to hear. And it feels kinda like I breathe from somewhere just behind my teeth. I don’t quite know what that implies about my smiles. Or perhaps I know but am just not sure I want to admit it.

Sometimes I wish I had not been born female… but that’s a whole other herd of turkeys.*

Here is a picture of a big snail on a little tortoise’s back, accompanied by an amusing caption:

You’re much too pretty, You don’t need your mind. Just bat them eyelids, Get your heart’s desires.


*I know that turkeys do not hang out in herds. Just thought I’d make that clear.


About Stephy

50% happy, 50% wildly uncertain. 94.7% bewildered, 78% raving mad, 4.5% awesome, 63% tea/coffee and cake. Wearing odd clothes, favouring odd points of view and Drifting Aimlessly since 1991. View all posts by Stephy

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