Still Waiting

To feel better.

I’d go and try to make that happen, but I’m too scared. Of being patronised, ridiculed, dismissed. All of which it would probably only be right to have done to me; I’m pretty sure this whole thing’s nothing. I hope this whole thing’s nothing.

(Who knew nothing could feel so… Who knew nothing could feel, so?)

Get more sleep, they’ll say.

Make my mind stop, I’ll say.

Make whatever is running through my veins, lingering, aching everywhere between head and heart; that  frantic sick feeling charging me with more energy than I can bear but at the same time somehow leaving me with barely enough to do the things I have to (need to, want to) do,

just go away. Go, and stay away.

Except I won’t say that. Because that’s all kinds of f***ing ridiculous, isn’t it.

It’s called life, Sweetheart. Get over it.

(Sorry. I’ll regret this).

~xx~

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About Stephy

50% happy, 50% wildly uncertain. 94.7% bewildered, 78% raving mad, 4.5% awesome, 63% tea/coffee and cake. Wearing odd clothes, favouring odd points of view and Drifting Aimlessly since 1991. View all posts by Stephy

One response to “Still Waiting

  • Pink Ninjabi

    Love the kitty. And love your honest expression of feelings. I totally get it. Sometimes it feels like we are waiting forever for better. And then we wish it were better forever. May you always find that patience for hope… Hugzzzzzz…

    Pink.

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