Because I’ve been struggling to write lately; I saw this on a fellow blogger’s page, and thought if I attempted it I might manage to write more often. I’m already seeing some I’m not too keen on, but I guess that’s why they call it a challenge.
Combined with my return to (very) part-time work after 4 or 5 weeks of working almost every day, I think it might just work.
Five ways to win my heart:
1) Be smart. And I don’t just mean smart like you got some A grades. I mean smart like you just know loads of stuff. Like there’s room in your head for just about anything you might care to put there. Like you pay attention to the world around you and remember one heck of a lot of what you see there. Then bring it up at highly appropriate moments. Smart enough to know things I don’t, so that I can learn from you, and see things in a different light because of you. Smart enough to type/write every piece of correspondence you send me with perfect spelling and grammar. Bonus points if you’re smart enough to deliberately use incorrect spelling and grammar for dramatic/humorous/dialectical effect (or whatever you call that thing where you hear them saying it in a daft voice, in your head). Smart enough to get my (sometimes pretty obscure) sense of humour, and smart enough to figure out what will bring that out of me and in turn what will make me laugh like an idiot. (NB: Laughing at my general derpiness will only go so far before it no longer counts).
2) Make me laugh. Properly, genuinely. My favourite people are the ones I pretty much can’t spend even a small amount of time with without us laughing until it hurts at least once. Bonus points if we’re laughing over some private joke that other people around us just won’t get, and will give us funny looks for.
3) Buy me something. But not just anything; something I will genuinely like and appreciate. I’m not being materialistic, here. It wouldn’t have to be anything fancy or expensive, just something very well thought out. Something I have a definite place for in my life. Certain of my closest friends tell me every Christmas and birthday that I’m difficult to buy presents for – but the ones saying that are the ones who keep getting it right. (See? It is possible…) Don’t get me wrong, I will graciously accept any gift anyone might want to give me, with thanks. I’m not a monster. It’s just that it’s quite a rare thing for people to get it just right – provided I haven’t already specified what I’d like Santa to bring me, or something . Once you get it right I’ll know you’re something special.
4) Be passionate about/work hard at/care excessively about something. Hard to explain, (and I may be sounding slightly hypocritical saying this right now) but if your attitude to almost everything (and things like shoes and clothes and bags and teacup pomeranians and haircuts don’t count in my world) is mostly kind of ‘meh’ then… meh to you, too.
5) Convince me to remove my heart from the list of organs I designated as available for use by the NHS when I die. Persuade me instead to put said organ up for auction – all proceeds to charity – upon my death. Kill me. Attend the auction at which my heart is to be sold. Do whatever it takes to ensure that you are the highest bidder. Pay your money, take my heart and do with it as you wish.
Sorry. I couldn’t think of another one. I think my heart perhaps isn’t too easily won.
Actually no, wait… I’m not sorry for that. Sorry.