Tag Archives: beauty

Killing the past won’t solve the present or the future,

but as I write this I find myself, yet again, contemplating the possibility of having all of my hair chopped off. This time, though, I’d properly 100% go for it. Sinead O’Connor/Natalie Portman style. Maybe I could do it for next year’s charity fundraising efforts? It would be a whole lot easier than running 13 miles, for sure.

Which brings me to the subject of the half marathon.

I’ve had a lot of time off from training recently and am now left with just over 8 weeks to pretty much bring myself up to race standard from scratch. I was doing really well; I’d managed 8 miles whilst keeping up my best pace of around 8mins 30secs per mile. Then I got a cold, and the frequency of my training efforts took a nosedive.

Then I felt better for a week or so and started to get back on it… and promptly caught another cold/got attacked by a second round of the first one. Second time round it came with the most horrendous cough I’ve had since I was a kid, and so that put a full stop to training for more than a week. Then once I felt better I ran a couple of short distances in the days before I had to go under general anaesthetic etc. to have all of my wisdom teeth taken out.

That was a week ago. At least one of the teeth still hurts a bit, but I plan to run tomorrow. I anticipate doing so with trepidation. For the entirety of the 2.78 miles I ran just over a week ago I pretty much thought I was going to die. I mean to the point where I genuinely considered stopping, in the middle of a deserted road, and just sitting on the ground crying like a baby.

That feeling of being utterly overwhelmed by the task I faced really made me think. At the time I was thinking much more poetically than I feel capable of today, but I mostly realized that this whole marathon thing is kinda just my life in miniature (I avoid talk of ‘metaphors’ because the word is overused and I just don’t like it).

Try hard, make progress – make amazing progress – get knocked back to a lower low than the one from which you started in the first place. Get up, try some more, claw your way up a little, lose your grip, fall back down (further still) and then…?

Well. I would like to make it quite clear that I am not, I am NOT going to give up. On June 30th 2013 I am going to run 13 miles. It is GOING TO HAPPEN, just like all those other things I am struggling to achieve. I’d take the burning muscles and straining lungs over the burning of abject terror in my blood and the straining of huge chunks of my mind hanging on by a thread, any day. Unfortunately, as I have lately come to realize, I am at some point going to have to just take the lot; I cannot keep avoiding it. Perhaps the rest won’t seem so hard after the 13 miles of lung and muscle punishment?

Here’s hoping.

And Here also, for your enjoyment, is a picture of a baby and a cat on a swing;



much love



Décimo Segundo Dia e Décimo Terceiro Dia

I missed two days.

On Friday I was sleeping then working then absolutely shattered from the working and the cold that seems to have really got me at the moment. (That’s probably my fault for verbally bashing people who are overly dramatic when they catch a cold. Oops).

On Saturday I got up really early to drive a few friends down to Alton Towers  theme park, where we spent the day getting thrown around and screaming like girls. Which was a huge amount of fun, but of course did not help my situation where not-being-able-to-speak is concerned.

[I’ll just add here that unfortunately there would seem to be little the UK’s theme parks could throw at me that will thrill me now. While I still get a tiny bit nervous in the queue for Oblivion, as one friend pointed out; “Steph, you jumped out of a plane…”]

So here’s what I was supposed to write about on Friday;

Five Guys Whom You Find Attractive. 

This is another one of those things I’m cagey about sharing, because I will be judged. Well, here goes…

Here are five celebrity guys I’ve had crushes on in the past (Only mildly though, might I add; I always saved my proper crushes for real people).

1. Orlando Bloom. Won my favour as Will Turner in the first Pirates of the Caribbean film. Can’t decide whether I prefer him polished or  casual, so have both;


(I want to steal his watch)

2. Alex Pettyfer. Caught my eye as Alex Rider in Stormbreaker. Much more age-appropriate, considering we’re still talking about me aged around 13, at this point.

3. Josh Holloway. As ‘Sawyer’ in Lost. Nobody ever was jealouser of Evangeline Lilly and her freckles. ;)

[But this one was far, far too old for me].

Harder to explain. I think it was as much the bad boy persona of the character as anything else…

5.  Jared Leto. In 30 Seconds to Mars, (a band I could never really pretend to be into for any other reason than his prettiness).

Particularly in the video for ‘The Kill’, where he’s screaming (THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM) at himself.

(I know that’s only 4. I hoped you wouldn’t notice… I guess I just prefer crushing on real people from real life, ok?)


As for Décimo Terceiro Dia, Your Opinion About Your Body and How Comfortable You Are With It, well that really depends on the time of day, day of the week, week of the month, month of the year. Some days there are parts of my body that I like. Some days there are different parts of it that I like. Other days I hate it all. Currently I am slightly annoyed at it for succumbing to minor illness (the aforementioned cold) for such a long time. I want my voice back. Don’t think there’s much more I can say to that right now.


I’m So Vain…

…I prob’ly think this song is about me.


I bought an outfit today, for tomorrow’s night out.

(For which, by the way, I utterly cannot wait).

Somehow, this and other aspects of today have made me immensely happy.

: )

Other aspects being;

Spending some time with my lovely housemate, who allowed me to drag her around every shop at monks cross (twice) and helped me choose clothes, and made me buy suspender tights (about which, by the way, I am still not convinced),

Running 5km,

Signing myself up to write an article for a Uni Newspaper,

Reading a whole (admittedly short) book to help with my dissertation, and (most of all)


All in all I feel it has been a successful day.


I don’t care what you think. (Unless, of course, you’d like to vote yes or no to the hooker tights).

I think I’ll stop there, before I have a confidence crisis and delete this whole thing.

I think I’m beginning to like Mondays.


Being Someone Else

The next time I go out, I am going to wear fake tan.

And fake eyelashes. Massive ones.

Maybe some hair extensions, Bright Red Lipstick.

The tightest, shortest Pink dress I can find.

(Possibly one of those ones with some bits cut out here and there…)

Fake nails, REALLY high heels.

Big Earrings, big jewellery everywhere, metallic eye makeup.

And I will laugh the way other girls laugh, at only the things they would laugh at.

And I will say the kinds of things other girls would say, and pretend to be into all the stuff the other girls are into.

Only talk to the kinds of people the other girls would talk to.

Go to the places they’d go to, and look like I’m enjoying being there.

Just to see what it’s like to not be me, for a little while, because the real me never really seems to do so well socially.

(I’m not even sure who the real me is).

Maybe I might even like being covered in fake. Perhaps I’ll realise what I’ve been doing wrong all this time, and never look back.


Perhaps I’m lying my [sexy little] arse off here and I will never, ever ever do these things because if the Real Me isn’t good enough for People then those People aren’t good enough for the Real Me.

Perhaps I am a total freak, but then so is everyone, really. Inevitably some people will be my kind of freak, and others won’t. And that’s cool, y’know?

: )

In other smiles,

I watched my younger brother make a team of skinny midgets and a team of chunky giants (all with highly questionable names) and pit them against each other on FIFA 12, earlier. I haven’t laughed so much in a very long time. :’)

It’s the little things, y’know?

I feel this post is too dull without a photo, so here is my Floyd back when he was young and pretty:


Happy what’s-left-of-Wednesday, and much love to all the (my kind of) freaks ;)


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