Tag Archives: sport

Killing the past won’t solve the present or the future,

but as I write this I find myself, yet again, contemplating the possibility of having all of my hair chopped off. This time, though, I’d properly 100% go for it. Sinead O’Connor/Natalie Portman style. Maybe I could do it for next year’s charity fundraising efforts? It would be a whole lot easier than running 13 miles, for sure.

Which brings me to the subject of the half marathon.

I’ve had a lot of time off from training recently and am now left with just over 8 weeks to pretty much bring myself up to race standard from scratch. I was doing really well; I’d managed 8 miles whilst keeping up my best pace of around 8mins 30secs per mile. Then I got a cold, and the frequency of my training efforts took a nosedive.

Then I felt better for a week or so and started to get back on it… and promptly caught another cold/got attacked by a second round of the first one. Second time round it came with the most horrendous cough I’ve had since I was a kid, and so that put a full stop to training for more than a week. Then once I felt better I ran a couple of short distances in the days before I had to go under general anaesthetic etc. to have all of my wisdom teeth taken out.

That was a week ago. At least one of the teeth still hurts a bit, but I plan to run tomorrow. I anticipate doing so with trepidation. For the entirety of the 2.78 miles I ran just over a week ago I pretty much thought I was going to die. I mean to the point where I genuinely considered stopping, in the middle of a deserted road, and just sitting on the ground crying like a baby.

That feeling of being utterly overwhelmed by the task I faced really made me think. At the time I was thinking much more poetically than I feel capable of today, but I mostly realized that this whole marathon thing is kinda just my life in miniature (I avoid talk of ‘metaphors’ because the word is overused and I just don’t like it).

Try hard, make progress – make amazing progress – get knocked back to a lower low than the one from which you started in the first place. Get up, try some more, claw your way up a little, lose your grip, fall back down (further still) and then…?

Well. I would like to make it quite clear that I am not, I am NOT going to give up. On June 30th 2013 I am going to run 13 miles. It is GOING TO HAPPEN, just like all those other things I am struggling to achieve. I’d take the burning muscles and straining lungs over the burning of abject terror in my blood and the straining of huge chunks of my mind hanging on by a thread, any day. Unfortunately, as I have lately come to realize, I am at some point going to have to just take the lot; I cannot keep avoiding it. Perhaps the rest won’t seem so hard after the 13 miles of lung and muscle punishment?

Here’s hoping.

And Here also, for your enjoyment, is a picture of a baby and a cat on a swing;



much love



Birds Flyin’ High,

You Know How I Feel ~


So today I spent most of my time feeling much better than I have done for a while.  : )

Mostly for no particular reason, but here are a few of the things that have happened today to make me smile;

– I ran just over 3km in 17 minutes, with my younger brother. I have no idea whether that’s anything close to an achievement more generally, but it was my first time running in at least 4 weeks. We also have big plans; Half marathon distance (without walking any) will be achievable in six weeks’ time. Hopefully having D as a running buddy will help me to not give up this time.

– My little cousin said something really cute. After I’d chased her around the house and found her hiding on the stairs, I told her I liked her hair clips; she told me she’d got them for her birthday, proudly declared herself to be seven now, and asked me how I old I was. When I told her (21-and-a-half days ’til I turn 21), she said

‘that’s really, REALLY old!’

It’s ok, I know she meant it in a nice way. :3

– I wrote something for moonproject.co.uk, which hopefully will go on there tomorrow. *fingers crossed*

I’m not sure if anyone will really sympathise with what I was saying there, but even if they don’t publish it/everyone bashes me for it, it made me feel better to have typed it all out.

– I acquired a little black dress (like I didn’t already have enough of those, but… gift horses in the mouth and all that, right?) which pleasantly resembles the one I wore for my 19th birthday celebrations. Let’s just say I felt kinda sexy wearing the original, but it definitely couldn’t withstand the terrible ordeal I put it through that one and only time I wore it. (No, not in that way, Thank God. Definitely not in that way. Ha).

I’m ashamed to say I sank to the level of vain required for there to exist a photo of me wearing said new dress, but I don’t think I could ever quite bring myself down to the level of narcissistic whore required to put it on here.

Instead, here is a photo of a latte with bear-shaped froth (brought to my attention by a slightly lovely friend and which I think at least one other friend will appreciate if reading, too);



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